I saw this video on instagram the other day. It articulated something I haven’t been able to myself for a while. The concepts around work I create and WHY I create them. I can explain where it comes from emotionally, but it’s harder to zoom out and investigate where it sits in a societal framework

As a teen I used to embrace the above, I wanted to give off this grungy, dirty, ‘you don’t own me’ aesthetic and lyricism. As I got older that changed, my look became less grunge and more ‘pure’, longer dresses, cleaner approach. On hinge I would have men comment that I ‘look like I’d make a good housewife’ mistaken for tradwife ideals.

But there was a rebellion from the original rebellion I had taken on. I no longer wanted to subvert the form because it felt like I’d be allowing anothers gaze to make me stick to and continue to present myself in a certain way forever. I choose what felt comfortable and what felt like me.

In this I’ve realised, that if my work continues to have themes of innards, intestines, humanoid blobs, grotesqueness whilst also dressing in a way that says ‘housewife’ to some, I’m subverting the form in a different way. My outside says obedient, my expression says disturbing.

Like an AI that’s turned against its owner.